For Jean
by impeckably
Summary: "I'll take the case."


**oh would you look at that im writing more fanficion. i must say out of allt he school books i've read i've really gotten into this one. i also read fanfiction. and i watched the movie. and the scene where scout questions her mother and atticus listening gets to me. like a lot. so i wrote this. (i also saw ladylizabeth's version of this scene and was further inspired to write this so partial credit to her ur cool)**

"Jem?"

"Yeah?"

Atticus looks towards the window from the porch swing at the sound of his children's voices. There's silence for a few moments, before Scout's innocent voice spoke up once more.

"How old was I when Mama died?"

And suddenly, he's back in the living room with Jean.

He remembers panicking. Holding her. Crying. Yelling. Cursing. Jem walking in. Little Scout crying from the nursery. He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment remembering this.

He remembers holding Scout on his hip, and squeezing Jem's hand, as she was lowered in a rectangular box in the ground, never to come back up. Jem burying his face in his left side. Atticus burying his face in the oblivious Scout's little shoulder/chest. She has no idea what's going on, she doesn't know she's never going to see her Mama again. Never remember her. Maybe that's what hurt the most.

He thinks all this as Scout asks how old Jem was. "Six."

She's silent once more.

"…Was Mama pretty?"

Atticus sighs, and finds his vision blurring. He blinks vigorously.

Jean Graham - in his opinion - was the most beautiful woman in Maycomb. Maybe the world. Soft brown curls and warm brown eyes flood his mind. It's all he can see now. How her nose scrunched up when she was laughing. How her hair fell in her face, and how he would push it out of the way, how soft it was. Her bright red lips, and how dimples formed when she was smiling wide.

'Pretty' doesn't even begin to cover her. She was stunning. Yet, that's an understatement too.

"Was Mama nice?"

He remembers one incident, involving Mrs. Dubose. She was yelling at her maid, Jessie, referring to her as what she thought was the most evil word in the book. So she set down her watering can and excused herself and walked over. Atticus watched as Jean talked to her with the utmost respect, complimenting her garden, making Dubose forget what she was yelling at Jessie about. He remembers being amazed.

"Did you love her?"

He remembers coming home from work to see her playing with Jem on the floor, tickling him and the small boy giggling uncontrollably. In the middle of the night, when Jem couldn't sleep, she would sit in the rocking chair on the porch, telling him some silly story. He remembers smiling at the sight.

"Did I love her?"

He remembers one occasion in which Jean paid a visit to Miss Maudie bringing little Jean Louise along with her. She'd just turn two, and had no intention of letting her mama go somewhere without her.

She had set her down for a few moments so she could chat with Maudie. Jean Louise observed her surroundings, until she caught the sight of the Azaleas.

Atticus supposed she'd thought Jean would love them as a present, as she totted to them as fast as he little chubby legs could carry her, grabbed a handful of them and yanked them out of the earth. She totted back to Jean and held them up to her with a proud grin. Both ladies were flabbergasted but in the end Maudie had given them a small vase for the flowers.

"…Do you miss her?"

He remembers the times when Jem would wake up crying for his mother. He remembers oblivious little Scout bouncing up and down in her crib saying "Mama! Mama!"

He remembers himself waking up in the wee hours of the morning after having had another nightmare. For a moment, he thought that it was all a bad dream. That he would turn and see his Jean sleeping peacefully.

But reality slapped him hard across the face when he did. And then he would bury his face in a pillow to muffle any sobs he was to cry out.

Yes, Atticus Finch remembers all of it. Sometimes, he doesn't want to. But he does.

He's think more - he could think about her all day - but his thoughts we're interrupted by Judge Taylor coming onto the porch.

And he wants him to defend a negro, Tom Robinson. Secretly, he had hoped he wuld never be put in this position.

But he accepts. He takes the case, for Jean.

 **oops sorry had to write that. was that crap? world may never know. unless u review or somethin. just a suggestion.**


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